April 4, 2010

• Misc. thoughts

  Seems like a lot of what I do/think is misc.

  Okay, so the last post was an April Fool's post.  I'd neverrr leave school--I love learning too much, and what better institution than a university?  There are so many resources and all. 

  Here's me in my true false colors:

  

  I took the nerd test and failed!! "Nerd wannabe" hence the frown.  And hence false, but I would still think of myself as being nerdy some how 8).  I'll post the questions later if you care to try it 8).

  The photo of from April Fools is of me, but it was in Taiwan for "Glamor shots", as a post-graduation thing back in 'o8.  As a side note, I'm only 5 ft 3 inches, so the chances of me ever being a model outside of a kids-model (oh no thank you), are slim or pretty much zero.  I also feel weird having my picture taken, so...yeah, most cards are stacked against that, glad most of you didn't take the bait.

  One commenter who removed their comment was upset that I would give up an opportunity like schooling, especially since they mentioned the difficulty they would have in affording school.  I didn't mean to be insensitive about things like that.  So, I apologize, I'm really sorry if it offended anyone. ><
  

  ---

  The 100 day mark is approaching in 2 days until MCAT...I might have to have my Xanga in hibernation as well as my Facebook.  I might have to make all my subscriptions online digests, so I don't become tempted to return because I see awesome-o awesome-o posts in my email subscription.  I'm actually feeling pretty scared.  If I am unable to get the score I need, then my plans will be set-back a year, which is fine, except that I have almost no classes left that I need to take.  At the pace I am at, I will have exactly enough for spring semester next year, and I will have taken all the classes I wanted to except marine bio.  I don't want to take a whole other year just for one class.  Then, there would be other requirements that I would need to meet if I had to take that other year, to finish off my degree.  Like advanced biochem.  Ummmmm, no thank you?  I guess I shouldn't judge so quickly, I haven't even taken biochem; but biochem at my school has the worst reputation--apparently it is an evil far greater than organic chemistry.  And I find that super intimidating since organic chemistry is like major weed out class, and to get to biochm you have to take both organic classes first.  So if it's tough on the people who made it through ochem 1 and 2, then...O_O

  I don't want to go away, but it's one of those things that I might just need to get done.  Because I put my free time into this place, and it should be devoted instead to MCAT for now.  :0  I guess I have a day or so to decide what to do.  But I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be away. >< >< ><  But I promise I'll be back ...please don't leave before then. 

  Along those notes, I feel bad about another thing.  I've been pretty busy lately, but I still find time here and there to read/comment.  But I feel like I'm being rude when I don't reply to comments made on my posts.  I mean clearly I have time, since I'm on here reading/commenting on other people's posts, so why don't I reply to the ones who write to me?  It's just when enough time elapses, I just feel awkward responding, if you know what I mean?  And then there are times when I don't know how to respond, because there's not much to say other than 'thank you' (esp. my holiday posts).  ><  I'm hoping that my lack of response is not taken as me being rude/not caring.  Because I do definitely take the time to read whatever is written--message or comment.  (:
  

  ---

  During my time with my ex, I became far more introverted and independent.  It was a good and bad change for me.  I sort of built up a shell around him and myself, in which I shared everything with him, and close to nothing with my friends.  That was a mistake I hope not to make with future relationships.  The independent factor was nice though--I've learned to be comfortable with silence and comfortable with alone time.  I no longer needed to be accompanied by friends EVERYWHERE I went, because there was nothing wrong with being alone--I knew I had someone with me at all times, on the inside, so why should it matter? 

  This comfort with being alone has carried on even in my single life.  I don't mind it, because I know I have family and friends that care about me, so technically I am not alone.  But this shell that once housed me and him I think is being shed.  I've found friends that I love and whose company I enjoy.  I feel comfortable sharing with them.  But this weekend, has been so quiet-almost everyone went home for the holiday.  So for the first time in ages, I feel a little lonely.  It seems so lame-sauce. 

  One thing about being human--all those things that make us weak are also our strengths.  The converse is true--what we think makes us strong often can be our weaknesses, because we often take them for granted and forget to keep up with them.

  • 2:21 pm
  • 13 Comments