So I've been making cards these past few days as you all know.  Well, my friend's birthday is coming up, and he's having a little get together on his birthday, which happens to be the day before Valentine's day.  So I was thinking about it and decided to make him a card incorporating both Valentine's and his birthday.  First I thought, it'd be cool to have a sign on one side say one thing, and a sign on the other side saying the other thing.  But I couldn't think of context for a sign just being in the middle of a card...

Finally, I got this silly silly idea, because that's how I roll.  I decided to dress up the way I would for his get together, and pose holding a sign.  (That way it'd look silly with me standing there with the card looking like myself on the card?  And then I thought it'd be hilarious to get a picture of us with the card with the picture of us...lol).  Then, I just take that picture and flip it horizontally, and print it again, with a different sign on the other side, that way the symmetry and everything works.  I also dug through his facebook pictures to find one that would be easy to extract him from, and on in which he looked happy.  Cropped and copy/flipped it, print...Well, since I printed it on regular paper, I decided to put a piece of cardstocky material in between the two mirror images.  I also found some plastic from a bag and made it so the card was sealed...It was epic!  And then I was waiting for it to dry before adding decoration like a cake and hearts for V-Day, but I had a meeting to go to at 10, so I left, and met one of his friends/my neighbor on the way back.  I excitedly showed him the card I made, and he sounded a little hesitant when saying it look nice, or maybe I was just beeing sensitive/lame.

Well, after he left, I looked at the card and discovered that for some reason my friend's face had turned green!!!  What?!?!?!  It was green on both sides, but that's not how it was earlier...For some reason I was left unaltered; I think the glue caused the color to run...not really sure what else could explain it...but now I don't want to give him a card that has him martian colored and me looking normal? 

I'm making a new one, that will be without photographs, lol, to prevent skin color changing things from occurring...it'll probably be in the same fashion as all the other cards I made, just paper cut up, maybe embossing.  :[  Oh well, I'll prob give him the card and the new card (once I finish it).  But for now I'm tired of card making because I've been like a little factory.  However, I haven't made any cards for my local friends, or a few of the Floridian friends.  

Sigh.  Maybe tomorrow night, or something.  : or maybe later tonight...the night is still young.

So so tired right now...a friend was over late last night; and I don't know how she does it...she's like an energizer bunny that doesn't need sleep.  I felt really dead most of today even with the sleep I got.  O_o...& I don't concentrate well with others around (she was supposed to be studying, but she wasn't?)...Sigh.  Might have to stay up later studying tonight...(so why am I on here/making cards?).  Meh.

I called my gramps yesterday around 2AM.  They were surprise that I was awake (they're in LA so it wasn't too late there...and they stay up really late, like maybe later than my parents, lol).

Mailed out NY/DC area cards (2 and 2).

The past three or four years I made cards (even before started dating, hence maybe 4?) for my now ex for either Valentine's or a double Pi(e) Day+St. Patty cards.  I loved making cute and/or elaborate cards for him.  I'd always get excited as I knew the delivery/day of receipt was upcoming--that was slightly more exciting than the holidays themselves were.  I was also always excited to see if he decided to send me anything also.  One year he drew me an anatomically correct heart and wrote me a poem.  Another year he drew me a little flower.  It was quite adorable.  Another year (last year actually) he flew down and visited me.  In retrospect that brings sad memories...

You know, one of the things he told me after breaking up was that he didn't like how life was so exciting when he was with me.  He wanted a more "boring" life.  On one hand that sounds terrible, as if he just wants to settle or something like that.  On the other hand, I totally understood him since I feel the same way here sometimes--constant social engagements kind of sap a lot of energy from me (though I love occasional ones ..love my friends (:  ..!).  

But that point was one thing that upset me the most.  It's like, since we were long distance, I always made an extra effort to make his visit more exciting--I'd plan things out and make sure he could get the best out of our time or things like that.  It's like my efforts didn't pay off, but instead backfired and shot me in the foot and maybe in the heart too.  I mean I'm perfectly okay with spending my time doing mundane things with people I care about, but we did that on webcam, like studying together or just talking.  Life doesn't have to be constantly high energy or anything like that with me, I just thought he might appreciate that I wanted to show him the highlights in my environment/place.  

On that trip last year, I remember planning out a surprise candle-lit dinner.  I even sent him on a little mission to figure out how to make a smoothie to keep him clear from the dining area with the food and candles set up.  But he ruined my surprise by running into that room to sneeze because he was afraid to sneeze in the kitchen.  Fail!  Personal fail!  By I felt slightly devastated then too.  If only I had known that in the end all the surprises and shit were things that would turn him away from me...

But whatever.  Better sooner rather than later right?  It's weird, I still can't get myself to stop caring about him though.  But then every once in a while I get a mean streak in me, during which I tell myself about how he's not worth spending my emotional sap on; but the thing was that no matter what, he was an important part of my past, and I should just focus on the things he did that made me a better person and a happier person, rather than the burnt feelings that kind of accompanied the end of our days together.  I find myself moving on in some ways, so I'm not a lost cause .

I guess I can just look forward...someday I'll find someone who will like all the small things .  (Good song by Blink-182 btw!).

I remember in elementary school decorating cards or just buying the lame-o pre-mades (in middle school they weren't lame when they were LOTR themed :3, lol)...it was always awkward making one for my back then crushes.  I don't think I made/wrote on them differently, I was just afraid to expose any feelings I might have had.  Haha, I was very furtive back then.  I didn't share anything personal back then.  Nowadays I'm pretty pathetic and kind of fail with hiding my feelings.  Haha, but that is giving me a fair share of embarrassment, I should really be a little more prideful and stop.  So if I lived in *old* days, I might make my currrrent crush :3 a nice Valentine's Day card...but alas, I live in the present & maybe I should spare myself some embarrassment (what say you?).  My friends already laugh whenever they see certain things because I (inadvertently) created an association for them by relaying them some of my stories.   

Soooo...Anyone want to exchange cards? (:?

I love sending and receiving mail (though I don't love my mailbox)!  But I have a really busy week coming up, so I prob can't make very many.  (: (: (:

I know it's early to be talking V-day, but, if I'm mailing things I need extra buffer time to plan to send it early...also, V-day is on Sunday, so I gotta plan for the day before.  (It's also Chinese New Year!!)

(Random update)
(& just kidding, I love eating scrambled eggs , even with scrambled thoughts).

--The mail room smells wonderful; didn't get any mail though :[
--My mail-box is terrible.  It is too tall for me, so I have to tip toe to try to see the numbers when turning the lock/combination thing.  Can they offer a booster for shorties please?  :'(
--Got hit by the door on the way out of the mail room (tired? or maybe just pathetic) o_x

--Was productive again tonight, updating the UGRB website, finally, though I'm still waiting on a lot of information before I can seriously update it.  
--Was in the library for a few hours; until they put some message on loop.  The library is now open 24/5.  (I think minus weekends?).  But that's actually a lie.  Only the first floor is open 24/5.  So the message telling us to relocate was on loop and it was loud and annoying.  Meh.  And there's not very much space on the first floor to work, so I decided to leave.  Now I'm being unproductive.  Eh.
--Dumb decision of the day: drank coffee on semi-empty stomach (had a double chocolaty chip frap before that).  Heh.  My stomach was sort of noisy in the library.  Didn't help that it was quiet in there for once.  Fortunately I chose a semi-empty/cozy corner.
  --The cubicle thing I was in was one I had sat in before!  It has [ir]religious graffiti on it (people scribbling back and forth about God/lack thereof.  I think that's the third time I've ended up at that booth, which is weird because it seems like the booth/cubicle is being shifted around then?  It was weird to look at since someone drew eyes that stared at me, and devil horns.  Fortunately I opened my computer so I couldn't see it anymore.
  --It's kinda weird to see religious/non debates when I'm still in the process of thinking this stuff through.  But I'm taking it slowly/easily.  I like reading some of the stuff in the book of Proverbs , regardless of faith, wisdom can still be found:

"It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way" Proverbs 19:2

   ...

--Failed the first o-chem quiz of the semester!  Ugh not again!!  Yay...(FML).  Exam in less than a week.  FML!!!!!!

On the brightside, some things are working in my favor:
--My group for sea kayaking meets next week instead of this week
  --I have a Red Cross mtg tomorrow, so that means I can actually go there early to help set-up etc.!
  --Personal reasons O_o (would be classified TMI)
--My First-Aid group is going tomorrow
  --That means I don't have to go to class on Monday --> I can have more free time Monday to cram for o-chem exam!!

--I love my astronomy class!!  And Excel!   We made model planets to scale and had to walk across school to try to make the distance to scale too.  Well, we didn't have ways to measure other than with a 1-ft ruler, so we decided to just approximate everything.  I didn't realize how tiny Mercury was, relative to Earth; and everything is so far away!!  The stuff I learn in class just blows my mind.  I mean a lot of it isn't new, but I can't help feeling really small [and insignifcant..].  I think that the existence of other life in other solar systems (or whatever) is definitely plausible, given the magnitude of the universe, but I guess I never thought about the amount of time it would take to reach those places.  Thus, the chances of us meeting those "aliens" are pretty slim.  That could be good or bad (if you read "A Wrinkle in Time" you might be like me and actually think some of them would be really nice/nurturing/pleasant to meet ).  In a way, though life is teeming on Earth, it is kind of a lonely existence.
  --BTW, there is this AWESOME program called "Stellarium".  It is free to download and pretty much shows you real time information about where there stars are at your specific location (if you give it your coordinates or type in the city you're in), and gives you information about specific planets or stars, constellations, etc.!   
    --Couldn't help but to think, if I end up not getting married/and/or having kids, then maybe I'll spend a bunch of my money to buy an awesome projector or a few, and project images from that program or something like that.  Like a miniature personal planetarium or whatever they're called.  (:  I guess kids might like that too though, so maybe even if I do end up hitting up that path...

  --With my extra model magic, I made a few things:

  --Someone has been watching me type; it's been really awkward:

(Lol.  And you can see me cheating with time right?  So I write my entry on Notepad so it doesn't subtract from my 30 minutes of Xanga?)  When I was little dolphins were my favorite of animals for a while.  One of the first clay sculptures/things I made was actually a dolphin.  It's snout/nose didn't survive the kiln, so it might've been thrown away (it's tail and flippers probably didn't either...so I probably just had a grey barrel, lol.  Fail!).

--Been not as good about keeping up with Xanga lately because I've been busy/stressed & slightly bummed (thinking too much, you know?). Been catching up in spurts, or trying to!
--I think I'm going to delete some of the "Friend"s on Xanga who I don't interact with but post a lot a lot.  Not trying to be hostile, just trying to shower more attention on my real Xanga-friends ...less spamsie stuffs.

So the other day I saw a sheet of paper that I knew I would be needing, though not quite yet (notes about lab, so I could write my pre-lab).  So I decided I should put it away so that I don't lose it while going about with my papers flying about everywhere on my regular school days; plus it'd lighten my load, since you know one sheet of paper weighs so much!  What I didn't notice was that there were actually two pages, so I left the other sheet with the rest of my note papers...

Today, I decided to start working on my pre-lab--after all it's due tomorrow!  (Technically today since it is past 12 now).  But that's besides the point.  I had this vague idea that I had moved the paper to prevent myself from losing it.  So I assume I left it on my desk and pretty much panic since I couldn't find it anywhere on or in my desk.  I was super frustrated, but of course laughing on the inside at the irony of the situation.  How I fail at life sometimes!!  The funny part I guess was that the second page of notes that I had left in my folder was still in place, definitely not lost.  But the one I did try to safe keep...Anyways, I scrambled around everywhere, digging through old papers left over from last semester, and pretty much ransacking my whole room, even my bed, since I've been studying there a lot (maybe it fell through the cracks?).  Right when I gave up and decided to just start my pre-lab without my notes, I look across my room and see it stuck to my dry erase board with magnets.  Well, I saw the ornate decorations on the side, since lab-lecture isn't all that exciting:

(Crappy picture, but that's because I'm in a rush/need to start my pre-lab..dandelions, elephants within boa constrictor, cat drawing fails, oh yeah, and chemistry!)
So I laughed and decided I should write about it.

But I guess that situation could be applied to other things in life.  Don't always find things that you're looking for until you aren't looking for it anymore.  Or take a breather from time to time...or whatever. 

On another silly note, today at lunch I was commenting about being a "bad student" since I haven't been feeling like studying for my Cell Bio class since the chapters we've been doing are review and rather boring.  But my friends both misheard me and thought I said something about being a "bastard".  Later on other things were misheard, but not by me, lol.  Buoy...

So as you all know, the American Red Cross is heavily involved with providing relief for the Haitians. Fortunately, many people have been very generous, and every little bit helps! However, there are now some set backs:

--Almost all the International Response Fund is being dedicated to Haiti--which they need it, so that is good/understandable--however, if another crisis was to occur right now, there would pretty much be no money or very minimal amounts for the Red Cross to mobilize on the behalf of the other victims. So if one wishes to donate to the Red Cross, it is recommended that the donation be directed to the International Response Fund (which includes the Haiti crisis) rather than only to the Haiti Relief & Development subdivision.  This way it is still being used in Haiti, but if need be, some may be used elsewhere.

--The local Red Cross chapters are being neglected!

Things also to keep in mind:
--Right now, mostly monetary donations are being requested for in Haiti--why? Because money can be transferred to be used instantly, whereas other donations have to be shipped and checked through customs. That takes time, especially with the volume...Not to mention the transportation right now is severely limited--limited to aids, translators, evacuating US citizens, etc. It's chaos. (Not to mention ground transport, which is probably nearly impossible with all the rubble courtesy of the aftershocks, and original earthquake).

--This is a long term situation. The cities and countrysides are pretty much ground-zeroed. Clean water and food are not easy to come across. Fortunately the Red Cross is working on that, along with other organizations. Not to mention the Haitians didn't have the highest living standard to begin with, and besides the infrastructure related destruction, families have also been destroyed. I think the American Red Cross maybe staying involved with rebuilding for the next three years. A major concern that comes with the long term situations is media related fatigue. There is the fear that publicizing the situation excessively will get the public tired or desensitized to the information. However, suffering and chaos continues to ensue, and I am guessing that it is hard to exaggerate the suffering they are actually undergoing.

--Like I was saying before, the local Red Cross chapters are being slightly neglected. For example, here in Tampa less concern is being placed on the local issues. But there have been many fires that have destroyed homes in the area recently. But people have been flocking to donate clothing specifically for the Haitian crisis--clothing that these victims can use more immediately (because of the delay time because of customs and because of its lower priority [food, clothing and aid or clothing?]).

Please support your local and the International Red Cross!

We must try not to sink beneath our anguish... but battle on. ~Dumbledore
I hope for healing to occur in the lives of the Haitians.  (Please stop the aftershocks...it's not helping ).

There's an article on Yahoo!® titled:

Why do people feel humiliated when eating alone in public?  I know when I was younger it bothered me, but I actually like it now.  I guess back then I didn't want to seem like I might be friendless.  But why worry now?  I know I have friends, so why should I care what random person A thinks of me?  They probably don't even think anything of it.  I don't think I've ever seen someone sitting alone and thought any less of them?  I might actually think they're cooler actually.   It's nice to find quitet time during these bustling days.  Being around so many people constantly actually saps a lot of energy out of me.  O_O

---

I sort of want to get a Netbook...not because it's cute, in fact I like having space on my keyboard and all that.  But I'm just weird about my stuff.  My laptop isn't new or old (1.5 year?).  I noticed a clicking sound on my laptop dearest when I was shutting the lid and for some reason that made me totally flip out, on the inside of course.  I'm generally pretty collected/reserved?  It also bothers me a lot that the left click button is getting sticky from overuse.  Also, the other day I unplugged my laptop and had it at the dimmest setting possible.  It *died* after 48 minutes.  The battery is failing me--48 minutes isn't enough to last through an entire lecture, even the short ones here (short=50 minutes...but when it's organic, 50 minutes=eternity?  Just kidding, sometimes).  I know it's my own fault for leaving it plugged in all the times, but otherwise it just gets dim and either gives me a headache (dim light does that to me a lot), or just is hard to see.  A Netbook isn't too expensive, and the batteries should last longer, so it would be nice to get one.  But having two laptops might be excessive for a college student?  I mean with a lot of classes I take notes the old-fashioned way anyways (esp classes like organic where I spend half the time drawing structures or graphs or other stuff x_x).  But it'd still be nice to be able to take my laptop out somewhere without it having to be plugged into a wall or something.  And adding a battery pack might solve the power problem, but the portability is greatly diminished.  Mehhhh.

---

I feel like I have been happy but really down at the same time lately.  I hope it isn't making me seem moody.  But from time to time I just want to rip this heart to shreds.  :'(  I live a decent life, but some days are so meh and FML-esque, and for no good reasons either?  Why should I have to convince myself that I am happy, why can't I just be?

So I'm trying to decide whether or not I want to keep Friend-lock on:

On one hand, I've only met one person on Xanga that has made me really uncomfortable, but I had the ability to block him, so I feel okay.  If things like that continued to occur, I think I would use the same technique--no problema!

On the other hand...I never knew about Xangaspy.net until a recent post by theacematt2. 

It's kind of a cool thing where you can creep on people's Xanga's even when enabling Sign-in lock, without leaving footprints with your name.  It also allows you to download entries, music and stuff like that from peoples' Xangas.  Pretty cool, but also pretty scary, altogether. 

I know sometimes before I subscribe to a person I like to scroll back through their old entries to see if I'm actually interested in reading it all; or, if I'm interested in getting to know a person I'll go back through their old entries to see where their views might be coming from and stuff like that.  But I don't want to come off as a creeper, so I might appreciate the feature given by Xangaspy.  I think if someone is enabling sign-in lock, I would like to respect their desire to be able to track who is on their page, etc.  So I wouldn't want to use the feature that Xangaspy offers.  (However, if they don't enable sign in lock, I usually just log out and view their site if I'm going way back .  Reminds me of the title of a song by The Shins...Caring is Creepy! [???] ). 

Under normal circumstances I have my Xanga on sign-in lock, and I do actually check footprints.  For the most part, I don't care about the number of footprints I get, high or low, or none at all XD (I write for myself most of the times, so why should I worry?)!  But I like to watch them a) because I like statistics sometimes ! and, b) it's kind of an alert thing.  If I see someone scrolling through my photos rather than my entries and then adding me as a friend, I make a point to add and then delete them, or just ignore their request altogether.  I don't mind people going back through my entries, because I do that to other people too!  I just like to be cautious, you know? 

Oh yeah, but anyhow, Xangaspy doesn't work if you use Friend-lock.  So happily my site is not accessible currently through those means. 

So on one foot, I have nothing to hide, so why worry?

On the other foot, the things I write are sometimes personal, so I wouldn't want TOTAL strangers to read those things (or judge me off) from a recent entry, but I wouldn't mind people with whom I've corresponded for a while to read and chime in on (always nice getting more perspective ), since they understand where I'm coming from, or know I'm not totally crazy. 

Any thoughts?

--------------------------
Another thing; I don't like to subscribe if I don't think I'll read/try to keep up.  But adding a person as a "friend" means that their stuff shows up in my inbox, and some of those "friends" have been cluttering and making it harder to keep up with the people I want to keep up with.  I'm having some difficulty keeping up with all my subs, so I feel like I should cap it off at a certain point, which might sound weird (I mean honestly, we're all merrier with more friends, given that there are at least some really good ones first.  But not all of my subs are necessarily friends either, just interesting, since they don't really interact with me...friends are a two way thing, yeah?).  Would it seem hostile if I remove people I don't actually read from my friends list?  I feel like some people just add to increase their readership, but sometimes I'm only occasionally interested and would rather not be flooded with all their stuff so I can concentrate on the people I really do care about.  I don't know if I'm being too critical or not.

(good song by Green Day btw)

So the other day when I was driving, at a red light I saw a man holding a sign..he was selling bottles of water for $1 to raise money for a girl needing marrow transplant. So I decided I could help out & plus I need to try to drink more to stay hydrated/try not to kill my kidneys. However I got distracted and didn't get around to drinking the water...

Later outside the Asian market, a poor/hungry man asked me if I could spare a dollar so he could eat. I asked him to wait a moment and went to my car. I offered him a box of Teddy Grams. But he told me he couldn't eat those (and then proceeded to show me he was missing a bunch of teeth). So I told him I could only offer him a bottle of water since I don't believe in giving away money like that (except to reputable sources). He thanked me and accepted the water. But that led me to wonder about the system and my overall sense of trust/occasional lack thereof. I mean what made the man with the sign more trustworthy than the other?

I'll finish my thought later...my iPod batteries are low. And I accidentally leechblocked xanga so I guess I'll be back later either when I recharge batteries or Saturday when the block let's up! Until the see ya! Will still read subs in inbox!

Ingredients:
-Egg roll wraps or even crepes work
-Bananas
-Cinnamon
-Sugar
-Neutral oil, such as canola oil
-Condensed milk or chocolate syrup (optional)

After peeling a banana, cut off the rounded ends.  Depending on the
size of the egg roll wraps, the banana may need to be further cut to
fit it in the wrap.  Try to use a banana that is fairly straight, as a
curved one might be harder to roll nicely.  Place it close to the edge
of the wrap.  Sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on the banana and wrap, and
then roll it up and fold it so it is all enclosed. 

Turn on the stove to maybe medium (may vary per stove ), and fill the
bottom of a pan with oil, maybe a centimeter and a half high?  Careful
not to turn it too high in case it boils/splatters --> you could get
burned! D:!  Carefully put the made egg roll in the oil.  Use
chopsticks or some sort of utensil to rotate it once one side becomes
crispy and golden brown.

When removing them, place them on a plate with a napkin (preferably a
sturdy one, otherwise paper might get stuck to it)--this'll allow some
of the excess oil to be drained off and not make your plate too gross. 
After it's cooler, you can remove the napkin.  These wraps are good
with condensed milk drizzled over them (or dipping them in condensed
milk), or chocolate syrup.  The bananas can be replaced with
strawberries, which also taste pretty good cooked.    (Or, you can
alternate slices of bananas with slices of strawberries). 

(Photo version!)
Saturday-no pictures to share--too tired!

Sunday--
Went to the park with the gramps and parents

{Gramps + Me}
It's so beautiful in Cali!  They actually have color changes...in Florida, the places I've seen anyways pretty much go from greenery to death.  The yellow and red hues are not seen as frequently.

Visited Gracie @ USC

{Me, Gracie, Tina, Michelle}

Made Chocolate Souffle

{Michael J., Gracie}

{Yum-o! Chocolate souffle...didn't quite turn out the way we expected.  P.S. Anyone have any idea what the term "ribbons" might refer to when making souffles?}

Monday--
Dim Sum @ Rosemead (New Capital, across from Hawaii)

{Cool little cart to keep the food warm!}

{Grace Roland; Tina, Me}

Tuesday--

{It was freezing...we cooked over a fire; there's a piece of 'gimpy corn' next to regular types of corn.}

{Michelle, Michael, Me, Angela, Austin--the Fangs! + SNOW!!!}

Wednesday--

{Michael, Me, Angela; Sunrise}

{I climbed to the top of the rock overlooking our campsite}

{Michael, Roland, Tina, Me, Angela, Gracie, Michelle, Michael J.; on top of a giant rock that took ages to scale, except by Roland who was super fast with climbing O_O!}

More later :]