January 17, 2010
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Friend-lock or no?
So I'm trying to decide whether or not I want to keep Friend-lock on:
On one hand, I've only met one person on Xanga that has made me really uncomfortable, but I had the ability to block him, so I feel okay. If things like that continued to occur, I think I would use the same technique--no problema!
On the other hand...I never knew about Xangaspy.net until a recent post by theacematt2.
It's kind of a cool thing where you can creep on people's Xanga's even when enabling Sign-in lock, without leaving footprints with your name. It also allows you to download entries, music and stuff like that from peoples' Xangas. Pretty cool, but also pretty scary, altogether.
I know sometimes before I subscribe to a person I like to scroll back through their old entries to see if I'm actually interested in reading it all; or, if I'm interested in getting to know a person I'll go back through their old entries to see where their views might be coming from and stuff like that. But I don't want to come off as a creeper, so I might appreciate the feature given by Xangaspy. I think if someone is enabling sign-in lock, I would like to respect their desire to be able to track who is on their page, etc. So I wouldn't want to use the feature that Xangaspy offers. (However, if they don't enable sign in lock, I usually just log out and view their site if I'm going way back
. Reminds me of the title of a song by The Shins...Caring is Creepy! [???] 
).
Under normal circumstances I have my Xanga on sign-in lock, and I do actually check footprints. For the most part, I don't care about the number of footprints I get, high or low, or none at all XD (I write for myself most of the times, so why should I worry?)! But I like to watch them a) because I like statistics sometimes ! and, b) it's kind of an alert thing. If I see someone scrolling through my photos rather than my entries and then adding me as a friend, I make a point to add and then delete them, or just ignore their request altogether. I don't mind people going back through my entries, because I do that to other people too! I just like to be cautious, you know?
Oh yeah, but anyhow, Xangaspy doesn't work if you use Friend-lock. So happily my site is not accessible currently through those means.
So on one foot, I have nothing to hide, so why worry?
On the other foot, the things I write are sometimes personal, so I wouldn't want TOTAL strangers to read those things (or judge me off) from a recent entry, but I wouldn't mind people with whom I've corresponded for a while to read and chime in on (always nice getting more perspective ), since they understand where I'm coming from, or know I'm not totally crazy. 
Any thoughts?
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Another thing; I don't like to subscribe if I don't think I'll read/try to keep up. But adding a person as a "friend" means that their stuff shows up in my inbox, and some of those "friends" have been cluttering and making it harder to keep up with the people I want to keep up with. I'm having some difficulty keeping up with all my subs, so I feel like I should cap it off at a certain point, which might sound weird (I mean honestly, we're all merrier with more friends, given that there are at least some really good ones first. But not all of my subs are necessarily friends either, just interesting, since they don't really interact with me...friends are a two way thing, yeah?). Would it seem hostile if I remove people I don't actually read from my friends list? I feel like some people just add to increase their readership, but sometimes I'm only occasionally interested and would rather not be flooded with all their stuff so I can concentrate on the people I really do care about. I don't know if I'm being too critical or not.
Comments (20)
hmm i'm not interesting enough to have stalkers/creepers so i don't really care if i have sign-in/friends lock off. i don't have much to hide either.
you should do what you want to do
yeah there are some people who i dont wanna be reading my site but i say fuck it... lol i recently put my site on public.
I only have signin lock because I like to visit the people who visit my page just to meet new people, and the bots were completely spamming my page T_T;;. However, I think whether you want to make it friends only depends on if you wanna meet anyone new. If you don't, friends lock! I don't mind since I'm your friend (^o^)!
Hmm you make a good point. I used to delete friends who I rarely or never communicated with when I used to have a myspace on xanga though i just keep them there because I sometimes check on some to see if they have interesting stuff. I never rly liked the whole friend lock thing because like you said if anything you can just black them and if you dont want strangers reading certain blogs i believe when you write they ask if you want to make it so only friends see it. For me everytime I see a profile on friends lock I never bother with them and just continue on so meaning i dont send requests or any of that, but thats just me.
To be frank Melinda I have never used protected list or lock . I have just blocked since 2001 about 8 or 10 people who put agressive or rude comment s. So I am quiet with them .
I thank you for your very kind comment . I am touched .Thanks
In friendship
Michel
I don't know, but I'm glad you added me as a friend
@MomoLikesChoco - lol, sure you are, though I guess fortunately you haven't come across one then, or rather none has come across you O_o. Maybe I should use somewhat anonymous pictures like yours (:...that might help. (:
@jeannie_dot_com - haha, you just call them out if so (:
everyone now, and I am not really subbed/"friends" with that many people O_o
@SacredWriter - True true; I usually ignore the ones with friend-lock too. Haha, but that means potentially not making a friend that I might really enjoy being friends with. I also wouldn't want it to seem like I'm forcing them to be my "friend" just to view my page. Lol.
@whoosh90 - I tried replying to you, but there was a glitch! Weird! Sometimes when I put faces in comment boxes it messes up the whole configuration...maybe that was it?
But what I was saying before my comment disappeared halfway, you're right! I've met a lot of really nice/genuine/awesome people (like you!) here on Xanga and I feel pretty safe, so why not leave it open? I'm just afraid to meet too many awesome people and not be able to keep up with their content as much as I would like to, you know? It's hard sometimes now, and I'm not even subbed/"friends" with that many people.
@phantomFive - Awww :]] I'm glad too! (:
@phosphor_stars -
:O it's cos I'm special and require a totally seperate reply box! X3. *nodnod* I'm happy I've met you, you seem like an all around lovely person
! Yeah...I don't like it when my homepage gets so full I can't keep up with it. After only 24 hours of not coming on it feels like forever because I have 7 pages of stuff to check through. I think this is around the limit for me T_T;;, I don't go trying to meet new people as hard any more, I can barely keep up as it is. Sometimes people I 'friends' with post a LOT a LOT and rec a LOT of content when I add them, so I feel bad but I just delete them. It just took up too much space in my universal inbox T_T;;.
Hello Ms. Melinda,
You made your site simple yet elegant. The pictures are a nice touch. I see that you have a wide variety of interests and observations here!
I like to write articles about Jehovah God on my site to help people to really get to know Him and His plans for us, especially in these troubled times. 2 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation. (Isaiah 12:2) (KJV)
I don't really care too much anymore if people look back at old stuff of mine, but I can see how that bothers some people.
i'm also glad that i added you/you added me as a friend
well i put mine on friends lock for plain privacy issues. i don't have anything to hide, but you never know who's reading this and what they can use against you. i guess i'm paranoid haha
i put it on friends lock sometimes hehe
but yeah it creeps me when people snoop around lol!
recently deleted some people
and still trying to figure out how to unsub people without blocking them heh
I think I only have sign-in lock because I'd rather not have certain people read stuff I write [the ones who know I have a xanga anyways] and I don't really have friends on xanga-I tend to read other blogs and just not comment bc its been said before or...too scared to write anything I guess.
Can't you put certain posts on private? Then random [read public] viewers won't be able to read the personal posts.
Btw, I like the new layout!
CREEPER!
@Roadlesstaken - I think I might feel ashamed if people saw my writing style from back then when I typed like ThIs, and spelled terribly O_O! Lol.
@sunday_dreams - (: (: (:
Nah, that's totally understandable. Some people are pretty cut-throat or weird. And plus, as we can tell from the media, it's so easy to take stuff out of context and twist words around. Nothing wrong with caution (:.
@s_h_a_sha - Hmm, I dunno! Though it might be nice to clear out some of the ooold subscribers (never know how is reading since some of my friends who left Xanga still get and apparently read the subscriptions O_O!). I'm sure there's a way??
@whoosh90 - Haha, you're so nice! I'm super glad I met you too! I just feel weird when the same person I delete adds me again, or I see their footprints on my page, so they prob noticed? -_-! I feel overwhelmed sometimes when I see how many pages worth of stuff I need to catch up on...makes me Xanga-lazy some days.
@shortstuff3157 - Wait wait, me me! I'm on! Lol
. Too scared? (: Lol, I used to do that too..& it saves the time to think of a decent comment. Haha...sometimes I just end up just adding 2 eProps and leaving, but that's usually if it's so epic or everyone else already said the same things as me? Or something?
I use the protected post feature when I don't want random folks/people I'm not close to to read my stuff >_>. But private is for when I write a post that might make me seem crazy! J/k, just for super personal and depressedish/angry stuff. -_-
Thank you!! (: Did you ever read/watch the Richard Scarry stuff??? (:??
@phosphor_stars -
:O I got a seperate reply box again yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ^__________^!! X3. Hmm, I haven't had that happen ^^;;. Maybe your ones thought something weird happened so you accidentally lost them as a friend >_>;;. I haven't deleted THAT MANY people though, some of the ones I delete I know don't visit my page anyways, I don't delete people who come on my page and comment. Yeahhhhhhh >_<;; since 24 hours ago I had like 7 pages of activity to catch up on! Not that I don't enjoy chatting to everyone...but...it's looong X3.
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