October 18, 2009
-
On collisions and moving on
And after all those years, we thought the collision of our hearts was an inelastic one. We thought that our hearts had melded together and that we would weather anything until the day we could be together forever.
And yet things fell apart, and we've discovered our collision was elastic; there was just a long time of impact. But now our hearts bounce further and further away from each other and we are strangers again. It is a weird sensation, to acknowledge that feelings for the most part are over with--it is just that nostalgia, and the sadness of how close we once were versus how distant we now are that brings sadness to my heart now. But I no longer wish we could go back in time to be together again.
But you once told me that I would someday see the meaninglessness of the words--in the "I love you"s that we exchanged. Granted, love is not quite how I would describe how I feel about you, except maybe storgic, the words have not lost their meaning. They remind me of a time when I loved everything freely and the world was bright and happy. It reminds me of our rich history and memories I would not trade, had I the choice. Those memories have shaped who I am; they were a time of growth and exploration. It was fun. And so I do not think I will look back and think they were empty. So, you're wrong again, as you often were about my feelings.
It has been a little over 6 months now, since we have been apart.
But whereas I once looked so bleakly into the future, I am regaining some of my optimism again. I suppose love isn't a one-shot deal the way I used to. Though maybe true love is.?
Comments (9)
Perhaps broken hearts may be repaired .
Or perhaps it was not the true love yet ?
I notice you expess some optimism at the end of the post . i wish the best of the future for you and you are right one don' t joke with love . It is a serious matter .
Love
Michel
poetic physics
love is overrated
? indeed.... love is a very strange thing.
I'm glad that you're feeling more optimistic... as a particle in an elastic collision, you ought to regain the kinetic energy you had before the collision... so smile! :)
@a_drunken_cellist -
Strange & Beautiful.
Sometimes I wonder if I've read too many books that have created ridiculous expectations for what it really is O_O. Maybe books exaggerate it, but I'm not so sure.
I would say that every love is different so what what is read from books might be exaggerations for some, for others, it's entirely realistic.
It's true; smiles are contagious
@a_drunken_cellist -
Ah, that makes sense. It is pretty different from person to person; so expression/reception of it differs also.
Sometimes I'm afraid I'll over- or underwhelm the people I care about o_o. Hmm.
Oh--unrelated! BTW, once I was asked in an interview what non-human animal I would be, if I had to be something else. And I actually answered a dolphin
. I just randomly remembered that yesterday and thought of you, lol. In the same interview I was asked what part of a car I would be if I had to be something. O_O The questions totally threw me off! Except the obvious questions that I knew they would ask.
I know what you mean. It's kinna different online because it's harder to tell if a person might feel over or underwhelmed. I'm kind of the same too, but you really shouldn't be...just go with your feeling
Lol...it's funny that I had to answer the exact same question recently...not for an interview though. It was a written-response, so I wrote like a paragraph about why I'd want to be a dolphin supported with examples of how they cooperate to help each other, members of other pods, and even other species. Did they ask why you you'd be a dolphin? The car question would throw me off too...so how did you answer that?
@a_drunken_cellist -
n___n
Though I think some people still don't screen too much of what they blurt online XD.
Talking online kind of dampens things since we then have a chance to think things through, instead of just letting raw things coming out. Then it is also sort of flat without inflection (unless punctuated with faces and '!'). But it is nice having things sorted out too, I suppose.
Yeah, they asked
. I like how they're communicative, emotional, intelligent, and fun-loving! I told them about how I liked how they were among the non-human animals that could recognize themselves; I'm not too sure if I would want to lose my sense of self; but I guess a non-sentient thing wouldn't know the difference anyways. 
I like the reasons you gave also. I don't think I would want to switch to an animal that is too singular or unemotional. I suppose being a dog wouldn't be all bad either, given a good owner or something. But dolphins outside of Sea World seem more free spirited since they're not domesticated. (:
Come to think about it, I chose probably the most useless part possible--the sun/moon roof. Mostly because it let in light and fresh air, in an alternative way
.