October 15, 2009
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Username Change
My username used to be "melinnn", then "loves_mud". So I finally accumulated my 10,000 credits, and now I have changed my username, once again. There are two main reasons for this change:
1) I wanted to block someone who was making me extremely uncomfortable, but just to be extra safe, a change in username (and a change in profile picture, etc.) will make it easier for him to not-find me, in the advent that he tries to, though I doubt. Just incase!
Honestly, I'm a pretty trusting person, but there are some things that merit blocks and cutting off, and this message was the final straw:
This was a bit too much for me, especially from some guy who lists "sex & manipulation" under his expertise. I would leave off the username, but I guess I'm leaving it so that people who might see this and gets friend requests from him might have a little more discretion? If this sort of thing would bother them, anyways. It isn't entirely fair/respectable to post people's private messages to you, but I'm also trying to justify my reason for blocking him. I wrote about him earlier and I think he got the hint from me since I started to ignore his messages/not read his Xanga anymore, but I feel a lot better just removing him from my life. Another person named "rickystarr" added me too; but I didn't respond and ignored/blocked him also. The names were too eerily similar; maybe they're just bots. O_O! There are moments while I was contemplating what I should do about him, because I'm usually pretty slow to label anyone anything (i.e. "creeper"), but there were just too many red flags and too much discomfort and stress for me.Not to mention he totally missed the point. It's not a "nerdy looking type" I like, it is the nerdy personality! O_~! The awkward and nerdy looks might just be a plus, but it certainly isn't watch catches my attention first. Looks are secondary, if not even lower in importance, to things like personality. People who are curious by nature and like to learn! People who won't laugh at me for liking those things too! ♥♥♥!
I don't understand why people like him would go all oozy to me, but then be really sleazy otherwise (he writes about sex and wanting things like threesomes and sleeping with random girls from work? Eww, not interested?). I don't like insincere people.
[Edit:] Unfortunately I noticed that xanga automatically changed my username in the old comments I had when I did talk to him. So he can still find this. = So I'm enabling Friends-Lock for now.
2) My old username, unbeknownst to probably anyone else, was sort of an ode to my ex. His Xanga, which he has since deleted, was "muddeliveryboy"; and I loved the things he always said to me, and all that stuff. Pretty much I adored the things he'd feed me. And the thing is I need to move on; and seeing that we're not talking except emergencies (i.e. I had to make sure his family was okay when I noticed there was severe flooding in the other Southeastern states, and he wanted to check on my with all the USF threats that even made it on the news!)...it's part of our healing process, though I wonder if that means we'll ever talk like we did back then. I highly doubt, because if I share things with him like I did back then, I would make myself vulnerable to him again.
Live through this, and you won't look back...(You're Ex-Lover is Dead -- Stars)So I guess this is another thing that had to change. I've been getting better day by day. Stronger, happier, my appetite is completely normalized again...Though I do still like the idea of mud...the freedom of romping around on a rainy day!
Cheer amongst gloom. I had a friend who changed his name but couldn't change himself...(Bright Eyes)But I guess it is a psychological/symbolic thing...changing our aliases.
I guess the change in profile picture can help me lay-low. I don't really like using pictures that aren't me, but I think I'll be a stick figure for now O_~! I guess another way to celebrate ♥ xkcd ♥ and how the book should be arriving today or tomorrow...VOLUME 0!!
! Arriving home anyways. I'm just waiting for my brother to call me out of excitement for having received it..! Anytime now! 
He was really upset when he found out we were wanting to plan him a surprise party though. He didn't want any party, surprise or none (good thing we didn't finish planning then -_-).
Comments (41)
Holy crap. Creepy people out there =/
@corvus309 -
Yeah, definitely! O_O
Dude! How have you been?? I haven't heard from you in a while/you haven't updated in a while! I had some little Super Mushroom cell phone charms that I saw a while back and I thought of you, lol. (-->old video game stuff?)
Glad you took people's advice on him. it's gonna take me some time to get used to your new s/n, but no biggie.
Random fact: before, I always sang the Love Drunk song in my head when I see your old s/n. "I used to be loves mud, but now I'm hungover.." see?
@Roadlesstaken -
Sorry for the curve ball! Haha, I was wondering when I saw that post you had about hearing songs along with screen names if you heard any with mine! Maybe I should change it to hungover stars. lol. Though I've never been close to being drunk before.
@phosphor_stars -
Haha, yeah, I lost interest in Xanga for some reason several (understatement?) months ago, but I'm going to try to update it more often now. Hopefully I can write longer posts than my last couple have been.
Old video game stuff rocks! xD
@phosphor_stars -
I haven't either (alcohol allergy FTW or FTL?). Oh, I already got one for you: "Phospor stars, look how they shine for you..."
@corvus309 -
Haha, I always liked it just so I could remember things. It is kinda lame, but I guess it would be analogous to an external hard drive to back up my memories. Select memories, anyways. HAHA! (Seriously though...).
@Roadlesstaken -
Haha, aww. But it's a blessing in disguise I'm sure. As for me, I'm too controlling to want to ever lose complete control with myself, which is what I assume might happen if I were to get drunk. O_O Maybe if I'm with a crowd I really trust, but the people I mostly trust aren't the type that want to get trashed anyways
. So it all works out!
Oooh, yay, Coldplay! I used to love that song, but it brings me sad memories right now. I'm sure in a while I can listen to it again.
Oh, it worked, I saw your blog entry listed in my xanga feed and though, "Who on earth got into my xanga feed?" despite the fact that the blog title is "Username change"
Getting drunk doesn't make you lose control unless you want it to. Normally it just makes you slower and covers up your pain
@phantomFive -
lol! Hehe, stealth! >_> (or potentially hacked, except not)! Maybe I shouldn't have said anything too soon XD.
@phantomFive -
Oh, that's good then, though I really wouldn't like to be slower in wit or anything. I'm already really bad with having witty responses or decent comebacks (fail!). XD. Now that a good chunk of my pain is dissipating I don't suppose I'll need any for now :].
I guess another deterrent is the Asian Glow/Flush...I find it a little embarrassing, though there's a decent delay between the time it enters my mouth and the time I start flushing. I also have never had any alcohol that I do like, so it's not like I would want to drink enough get drunk (bleh!).
yeah, it's probably better to not drink
The problem with that email is that it's so obvious that all he's thinking about is himself. I think.
@phantomFive -
(nod)
Yeah...seduction fail! lol! Sure, words can get to me, but not words like that!
I guess another thing that made me feel like he was really insincere was how he talked about how he hated being a model, but did it just to make ends meet. But at the same time, he signed off all his entries with "Half Asian/Half Model". O_o
Yeah, he sounds like a model
I'll bet I can guess the words for you
ummm that guy is so creepy! he comes to my page all the time and doesn't say anything.. i got bad vibes from him and they were right!
Oh! It's *you*!
I saw "phosphor_stars added a pulse: Studying physiology @ Board Walk [?]..." I almost didn't click the link to your page. Then I was like..."wait, that's a little strange...I didn't subscribe to any person called "phospho_stars"! What the heck is going on? After I read your pulse, I thought "well, anyone who studies physio can't be that bad," leading me to click your page and find out that phosphor_stars = loves_mud....lol. Aww...that's too bad... I liked "loves_mud"...
It' ok. I like this one too
How'd you choose it? It's interesting that Phosphorus was the ancient Greek (or could have been Latin, but I think it sounds more Greek) name for the planet Venus, which was known as the "morning star" because it could be seen before sunrise. Did you have this in mind when you chose this name? 
"My curiosity is a ship sailing on open waters, searching for undiscovered love. I could never neglect a treasure like you if found." I actually thought that was rather poetic
...but yeah, doesn't change the fact that he's a creeper -_-' I noticed some of his comments in the past were a bit odd, but not really anything that was as blatant as what you posted in your previous entry. You did the right thing trying to avoid him.
@a_drunken_cellist -
Haha, I didn't want to send a warning out before changing my username because then the kid could find me; and I thought I should probably explain the change, and I don't need him to know that either. >_>! I think it threw off a few other people too.
Hahahhaa, "can't be that bad." That just induced a few suppressed laughs O_~, but then again some people who learn to fly aren't searching just to be free more spirited...=(It would be nice to be able to fly sans airplanes!
!)
Ooh, I didn't know that actually, though I used to fascinated by Gr & Roman mythology.
! Acc to Wiki, Phosphoros is Greek, and -us is Latinized. 
I was trying to think up a new name, and that one song by Owl City came on (mentioned glow in the dark stars also O_~). Then it occurred to me that I didn't know too much about what was behind the workings of glow in the dark stars, so after looking it up, I kind of decided that might be a nice name 
.
I actually got interested in mythology after being interested in astronomy...I wanted to know the stories that came with the constellations. They seem a little more meaningful, even if I can't remember the stories now. O_O Let's see, well, I've always loved stars, and so glow in the dark ones are plastered on my ceilings. At home in the shape of constellations, but since I don't have many here in college with me, I put them on the walls to help me with depth perception at night when I'm walking from my desk to bed, or something.
I was actually wondering about yours too. I get the cellist part, but you mentioned having not been drunk before? O_~?
Yeah, it doesn't sound all that bad, but I guess the lack of sincerity or unknown/sketchy motives kind of took away any of the beauty that might have been in the words. Coming from someone that seemed to care or seemed really genuine might have induced some gushing on my behalf; and loads of blushing. O_~
@phantomFive -
haha, like what?
@assassynative -
>_> so even on Xanga caution must be exercised! He's the first creeper I've encountered; not bad considering I guess how long I've been here n_n.
Oh, I love you, you're great, you're fun, I think you're beautiful........I suspect you are similar to me; for me it is really seductive when I feel like someone is really trying to make me happy. That is hard for me to resist.
@phantomFive -
Ah yes; those are some pretty good ones n_n. Sometimes it is nicer to have things flat out, rather than obscured by the aesthetics of the wording.
But then again fairly embellished phrases can be nice too. O_O but like you said, it's the thought/effort behind it all that counts the most. n_n And sometimes it is hard not to be overwhelmed with happiness just from knowing..!
lol very well, I perceive you are more allured by the luscious fragrances of flowery poetic language
A. what the heck happened to my xanga? i signed in to find a huge thread on my last post from your xanga friends. haha.
B. i was quite thrown back from your xanga username as well. i keep thinking it looks incomplete and want to add -ous to the end of it.
C. XKCD profile pic?
D. Be careful. There are creepers out on the web. You can never be too safe, only too sorry. I know you're laughing at me for being comically paranoid, but SERIOUSLYYYYY. Ew. "Let me wet your mind"?!!! Ugh. I was going to come up with a bad pun comeback, but then I thought of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP_BsSUXGx8
(Fast fwd a little, it's actually wittier than you'd expect. Or...ok not really. I can tell you'll despise this video since the humor's kinda sexual, but I did like:
EX: Baby all I wanna do is make you sweat.
Let me be the Romeo to your Juliet.
KELLY: Ok, drink some poison
And I'll stab myself.
LMAO.)
@phantomFive -
lol, maybe not poetic, but well written or eloquent (I suppose a little unlike my own, since I just ramble and am a little disorganized when writing non-passive voice/lab-report styled). Supposing you had synesthesia, what do you suppose that fragrance would smell like?
?
@azn4tunecookie -
I was in the middle of writing you a big long response, and the I accidentally closed out of the window and lost everything. Boo!!!
!!
A. Haha, you got caught leaving footprints!
Maybe you should come on Xanga more often though 
, update *prod* once in a while! I've even been checking your WordPress for any update of yours, other than that you are BUSY!
B. Phosphor is the chemical they use in glow-in-the-dark stars
; I was trying to avoid super long words for my username also. 
C. Like my xkcd theme also?
! It's part of my way to hide my identity a little more for now, though I should be okay with Friend-lock. Oh! Btw, I know I told you before, but I bought the xkcd book for Michael's b-day present! It arrived yesterday, but mom said she hid the package so that he wouldn't get distracted from school work yet, and so he could read it when he's not as tired (running)...lol, I kept expecting him to call me out of excitement for having received it. But it's okay, Mom's kinda funny like that 
, though I guess it makes sense too. You can read it next time you come home!
D. I'll watch that in a bit and reply then!
/O_O?
I will have to get the habit of your new username ,Melinda .
I read the dialogues above . .
you have been right to change the user name but is it sufficient .
In friendship
Michel
ps : the feature reply doest work for me.
@phosphor_stars -
Oh cinnamon for sure. And warm things and apple pie and hollyhocks and puppy dog kisses.
Ahh I see. I have those stars too... I actually have two packs of them sitting around somewhere. I forgot about them for a while, but you just reminded me about them lol. I guess if I ever find them, I'll put them up
I'm pretty interested in mythology too! I just found out today that my sister has a lot of free time this semester, and she's taking a Greek Mythology class for fun. I got so jealous...haha. I miss being an undergrad.
That's really cool that you actually made constellations from them. I never thought of doing that. Eventually, when I have my own room in a more permanent place than this apartment, I'm gonna plaster my ceiling with the glow star things. I've also seen a projector that actually projects stars onto your ceiling, but I don't know how well it works.
As for my username, I actually have gotten drunk once ever since I created this Xanga, so it's not really true anymore ^ ^" ... but it doesn't necessarily take alcohol to make one drunk. I'm sure you've heard of phrases like "intoxicated with love," "intoxicated with life" and such..."drunken" refers to all of those things, though I had no idea what it was like to be drunk at the time I created my second Xanga account... when I was a freshman in college. I was in love and passionate about life, and I thought that if there was ever anything like being intoxicated, that was it. I also remembered that in middle school, I was joking to a friend about the drunken fist style of martial arts and we decided to invent our own cello-playing style...we competed to see who could make the most drunken-sounding music...@_@ So it was only appropriate that I became DrunkenCellist on Xanga... I later deleted that Xanga, though I regret it now...it was only last year or so that I thought of getting back on Xanga...unfortunately, I couldn't get my old name back, so I'm now just "a_drunken_cellist"
@phantomFive -
Oooh, apple pie...n_n. Now I would like some fresh pie, straight out of the oven.
Except I don't have time for it (wait, why am I on Xanga? ah!! lol).
@azn4tunecookie -
lol, that was more than a little strange O_O! (I replied/watched it earlier; but I realized I accidently replied to myself? -_-..fail! I've been eating the chocolate you sent me! Thank you!! I was afraid it would taste like soap since it smelled a little like the soap you sent. But it was tasty
!
I want to send you stuff too!! Except I don't know what since you are so picky!!
!
@phosphor_stars -
lolol
@a_drunken_cellist -
My cousin told me the same thing (missing being able to take non-sciencey classes). That sounds really awesome though! I wish they had some classes that we could attend just to listen. O_O I took a religion class spring semester that took up more time than my chem and physics class, so now I am hesitant to take classes outside of my major in general. -_-
I might ask the same, is your sister as nerdy you are? O_~! I'm assuming so at the present since she's taking a class of interest for fun 
!
I think if I ever have a kid I'm going to get this projector for him/her.
I'm kinda curious if it works, also. 
My best childhood memories with my dad were when we went star-gazing. The constellations I chose were Orion and Casseopeia since those were the ones he showed me first. And then Pegasus just for fun--which I recognized independently for the first time when I went to Cali last year! 
!
(Ah, that's exactly how I entered college also :...)
Oh, that's cool! I was thinking that you might've been 'drunk' on the music, but the that explanation sounds more fun
! It was probably more fun playing music with other people than separately [?], for the most part, except when seeking solace in music, the I guess then it's nicer alone. Aww, did you save any of your old entries? 
I have so many old Xanga's that I've never shut down because I'm too sentimental/pack-ratty. Glad you're back though 
.
Lol seriously...I swear, some professors think their class is the only class you're taking or something, even if it's a 2-unit class haha...*cough*healthcaredelivery*cough* You probably have the option to audit a class if you have enough units right? Our undergrad tuition gives us 18 units, so if we take four 4-unit classes, we can usually take a 2-unit class for fun, and choose the audit option if we don't want to receive a grade for it. I'm pretty sure most schools have audit options. You should see if you can next time.
Honestly, I don't know who is nerdier
outwardly, she doesn't really seem that nerdy, but I think she's nerdier than she lets on.
That's a pretty cute projector...makes me kinna want one for myself, but I'm a bit too old for something like that haha
I miss star-gazing as well, though I couldn't recognize many constellations. Orion was the easiest for me, then Ursa Major/Big Dipper, and I used to be able to find Polaris too...I doubt I can recognize any of them anymore, except for Orion. I'm surpised you're able to see anything in California. I feel like I haven't seen any stars for ages because of light pollution and smog/haze.
I didn't save any of my entries, since I deleted my Xanga with the intention of erasing whatever was in those entries permanently. I later regretted it though, because even though there were unpleasant things in the past, what's in the past is permanently over anyways, and regardless, they're part of what made me what I am today. As time passes by, it gets harder and harder to remember who I was before... if I had kept my entries, in the future, I could probably have gone back to read them and laugh about how carefree, naive, and stupid the young me was
...but yeah, they're gone for good. The most I can do now is to try to keep this one alive and updated once in a while.
@a_drunken_cellist -
Yeah they do O_O. If we only had that one class then I'm sure it all wouldn't be all that bad; hmph! O_O!
Hmm, I never heard about auditing before! I guess I'll have to look it up. Or if it is a big class maybe I can just sneak in whenever I have time, lol. O_~ They would never notice.
I think girls have the advantage of being able to easily dress/disguise themselves to not look too nerdy
. Heh. And then if we just act cute then it detracts from our nerdy behavior also. o_o
Me tooo! I'll just have a kid as an excuse to get on. (Jk!) O_~! If you go out towards Joshua Tree...it was REALLY dark there at night, so stars were brilliant. I guess in LA not so much. Tampa too; I rarely see stars here, though smog isn't so much of a problem here. But I saw an opossum yesterday! (slightly unrelated)
Awwww,
. But would you say you have really changed significantly since? I suppose with so much work + secrecy related things it is a little harder to be as carefree O_~, especially with all those matters of consequences! I think even with the growing up I've been forced go through I'm mostly the same; maybe a few minor tweaks here and there. Sometimes I wonder if it is better forgetting somethings though, you know? But I suppose carefree/naive/stupid-or young days don't so much fall under that category n_n.
Definitely, you'd be able to attend larger lectures without anyone caring, though it's not as engaging as participating in smaller classes with discussions.
You're right; you wouldn't be able to tell that my sister's a nerd by looking...lol. Honestly, in the past three years or so (since she got to college), I've noticed an increased effort by her to be more fashionable
I've pretty much given up on any hope of seeing stars while in LA...I've never heard of Joshua Tree, but I Google Mapped it...and it's *really* far from LA...lol. Actually when I went to Yosemite this past summer, I had my chance to see some nice stars. I guess my next chance might be when I go to the east coast next summer.
Whenever I see the word "opossum," I think of "opium" for some reason -_-' too much drug-studying lol. I once saw a raccoon on campus at night. I actually only saw the dark outline of it, but later photographic evidence by one of my friends confirmed that it was a raccoon.
Yeah, I've changed pretty significantly...maybe not outwardly, but inwardly...attitude and outlook-wise. It's not something my friends would notice because they're around me all the time, but if I actually went back in time and had the chance to meet and talk to myself, the young me would probably would not recognize that I'm really him, apart from any physical semblance of course...lol. Maybe some things are better forgotten than not...but in retrospect, I've never had an experience that I felt didn't contribute some positive meaning to my life though, however small. Judging by your "collisions" entry, I'm guessing you probably feel similarly.
@a_drunken_cellist -
Depends on the professor I guess; my roomie has an econ mass lecture professor that makes them sit in the same spot every class so he can learn names/faces. But then he goes ballistic whenever someone is sitting according to the seating chart. I think professors like that are rare though O_~; maybe I can ask my religion teacher from last semester if I can sit in on his classes; I doubt he'd mind, but then he might try to convince me to actually enroll in one >_>.
You guys are pretty close in age then? (:?
Maybe I fell asleep on the ride there and back then. -_- (zzzz) Awww, Yosemite
. The best stars I've seen were in a small town in Peru called Ollantaytambo. The night we first arrived there, a car had hit an electricity pole so all the lights were all out 
; it was amazing, except for how cold it was. n_n Where on east coast?
I always associate opossums with playing dead and something about their tails O_O. lol, opium
. Raccoons are really cute, except they eat sea turtle eggs, so I guess I get angry at coastal raccoons. It would be unjustified to be angry at the ones more inland.
Aww, that's kinda sad
...I think it depends a lot on things like disposition; like I feel like with my mom some things would definitely be better forgotten because she has trouble letting go of/moving forward from things and so she's accumulated a lot of hurt/negative feelings. But for the most part that's how I feel 
. Too late to turn back time anyway. Hopefully these mistakes'll just make us better people some how.
I think most professors would be pleased if you asked to sit in for a class just because it means you're there because you're interested, not because you're taking it to get a requirement out of the way.
My sister is almost 2 years younger then I am, but 1 year behind me grade-wise...so she's a senior right now.
Yeah, I remember reading about that in one of your entries about your Peru trip. It sounded like a really nice experience...you're so lucky!
@a_drunken_cellist -
True! Hmm, maybe I should start looking up what they'll be having here next semester
.
That's sort of the opposite of how me and my sister are; she's 1 year older and two grades above me. (:
It was pretty nice...we got a bunch of candle lit dinners. But I guess it is different when it's a family rather than a date, lol. O_~
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