August 7, 2009

• Miscommunication + misc.

  Sometimes I get upset when people interpret my reactions wrong.

  For example, back when I was dating my ex-, I'd get upset when we occasionally fell out of touch due to us both being busy.  Over short stretches I didn't mind, but three weeks was too long for a long distance relationship.

  But then I think about it rationally (rather than emotionally ), and perhaps I just need to learn to express myself so that people can understand me.  Instead of being angry because I missed him, I should have just told him that I missed him.  My ex- was kind of dumb in that subtlety failed (epically) with him--bluntness was the only way to convey most ideas to him (he was book smart, and very acute in observations about mechanisms, like behavior, but not as good with emotional stuff).  So for some reason I got the impression that being angry would convey that.  But come to think about it, that doesn't make sense. 

  So one of my goals for future relationships is to be a better communicator. 

  It seems like this problem runs in my family.  A lot of times in the past, my dad would be blunt instead of subtle (ha, opposite) and tell me, and only me, (back when I was fat ), that I needed to exercise instead of just addressing the entire family.  He meant well, but I was overwhelmed by embarrassment.  So even though he still hasn't really learned to communicate things like that to me in ways that don't hurt my feelings, I maybe should just learn to accept that he is that way.  But I am young and know what is wrong, so I have no excuse for not learning to change my ways of communicating.
  

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  I need to finish packing!!  It is one of the things I procrastinate most on.  SERIOUSLY.

  I bought a notebook recently, and found a fountain pen.  So currently my fingers are stained and splotchy from ink, but it is fun!  (Yay, more distractions from packing!)  I have always wanted to keep a serious journal and write daily or at least weekly.  It has been my New Year's resolution for years, but I have failed every year.  Since this journal (like all my previous ones?) is aesthetically pleasing, maybe I'll feel more induced to write.  & any internet deprivation I have while traveling might help also.  I would use Xanga to write about my daily things, but it is really quite boring for the most part--my life. 

  (hmm, something is wrong with that statement)

  • 9:28 pm
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